Songbook

skydiver

2012-02-13T08:41:00.000-06:00

A few seconds ago, I looked back through some of my archives as kind of a prequel to writing a new post. This blog sometimes becomes a mirror for me-to see what needs to go, what needs to expand, and I feel the tingle of potential.

It is interesting to see how my writing style grows and shrinks, stretches, and retracts. Most of the time I end up deleting the posts in which I was trying something new. I like my blog to be consistent and have a similar tone throughout, but you know? Right now it is time to grow.

Once I took a personality test. I carefully considered each question so that my result would show me my true personality. The result called me an "analyst." It said that I am careful and deliberate and shy.

I hated that result. I took the test again.

This time I threw caution to the wind, I answered the questions with abandon, sometimes clicking on an answer I only wished was true. This time my result was "skydiver." I read the description of a skydiver with classic rock music playing in my head. A skydiver was someone I could be someday.

"Keep on believin. Hold on to that feelin..."

The truth is, both the analyst and the skydiver exist within me. And I am gradually trying to let the analyst go... to starve her of the doubt she feeds on. And to be a skydiver:

To be brave enough to make my own reality where the glass is always half-full, kisses in the rain are a summer requirement, little girls dance in tutus on their daddy's feet, and slow dancing in the parking lot doesn't just happen in movies. I want to be the kind of woman who will jump in the ocean with her clothes on... the kind of person I am when I don't think other people are judging me. And in return, I want to be accepting of people and forgiving of their weaknesses. This is who I want to be when I grow up.

"Life is no brief candle to me, it is a sort of splendid torch

which I have a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as

brightly as possible

before passing it on to future generations."

-George Bernard Shaw

Who do you want to be?

The rest of this post are just pictures from putting up our new curtains. We had to play with them first.

The curtain rod was her scepter.

I think Brielle may be a skydiver too.

pageantry archive

2012-02-10T10:16:00.001-06:00

The girl's been at it again!

Check out this old post for a good laugh.

Happy Friday!

improvising

2012-02-09T08:47:00.000-06:00

Yellow light streaming through the window- this is how I like to greet the morning: with open blinds, pajama snuggles in Brielle's room, and reading books in the rocking chair. The only thing missing is a maid to get the house clean while Brielle and I just have fun.

The sleds at Target were sold out, so we improvised with a storage container and a bungee cord.

Little miss couldn't handle not being the one pulling, so she got out and took her "baby" for a ride.

I laughed so hard. Sometimes I think my daughter may be the most amazing thing that has ever existed.

Right now, we don't have much. With Chris being in school, the things we want are sometimes put on hold.

But we try to do the best we can with what we have.

Which means, I get me into trouble because sometimes I want to do the best I can with what I don't have...

Like when I throw Valentine's Day tea parties for Brielle and her friends.

Right now it is so hard to stay within reasonable limits. I just want to let loose, and go buy some fancy cake patters. candy jars, and tiered cupcake stands...

But maybe, just maybe. I don't have to give up on dreams of beautiful glass-ware. Maybe we can figure out a way to make things absolutely beautiful without murdering the credit card.

I guess we will hope and work for the best and find out soon!

Guinea pigs

2012-02-07T06:00:00.000-06:00

We knew not what awaited us come night fall...

And then, out of the darkness: a light.

But soft! What light through yonder forehead breaks?

Looks like someone got himself some fancy dentist glasses.

wedding ring: found; husband: also found.

2012-02-06T06:00:00.000-06:00

Friday afternoon found me desperate for a break. I couldn’tfind my wedding ring, the house had been hit by the kind of disaster that onlyoccurs when one is looking for a lost wedding ring, and Brielle was a grouch fromwaking up too early. Since I am a woman who knows her limits, I called wonder-momto ask if she would take the little much off my hands for the day.

“There’s a storm warning for tomorrow,” She cautioned. But Ishrugged off her concern without checking the weather. It couldn’t be that badright? After all, the weather we’ve been having lately has almost gotten mestarted weaving flower bracelets and constructing may-poles.

So we swapped the girl out for what we thought would be aday, but the weather had other plans, and it kidnapped her to my parent’s houseFriday night and all through Saturday.

Despite the piece of my soul that is missing when she is gone,I haven’t had this much fun with the husband since our anniversary last April.

We dusted off conversations long left moldering becauseof the constant life-or-death situations we are in. (Don't you know we have to save the girl’s life about 10 times a day when she almost walks into the road, almost steps off a two-story jungle gym, or almost pulls knives out of the dishwasher? [You can just call me and Chris everydayheroes.])

and for heaven's sake, It is hard to have long, romantic conversations when you have just saved, or are about to again, save someone's life.

The lack of impending crisis transported me back again to our childless days when we whisperedin each other’s ear and giggled during church, or squirted water at each other inthe kitchen.

And right before I left to go pick up the little miss yesterday, I soaked in the last 5 minutes of one-on-one time with my long lost husband.

“See you next baby swap?” I asked

“See you next baby swap.” He confirmed.

And then I shut the door on our lover’s weekend to go pick up the piece of our hearts that was missing.

Oh, and I found my wedding ring too.

P.S.

Am I the only person who wants a pair of red skinnies so bad that she is going to die from lack of red skinnies? They call to me...

source

desperate housewife

2012-02-03T07:28:00.000-06:00

When I was little and my dad was going to dental school in Omaha, this is where I went with my mom to play and learn the day away until dad came home.

The slides:

and yes, we did go down.

Reliving childhood memories with my baby was a wonderful feeling.

We wooshed down those slides the way time seems to woosh by.

Whoosh! going to the slides with my momma. Whoosh! Go to college. Whoosh! Meet your husband. Whoosh, now you have a baby. Whoosh whoosh whoosh.

And I marvel, yet again. About how she keeps growing and I can't do anything about it, except enjoy it.

One of the ways I am starting to enjoy the passing of time more is by reveling in housewife outfits. Getting dressed is becoming so much fun:

Whoosh! you're a desperate housewife.

Basically, having a baby makes my life a lot more awkward...and awesome

2012-02-02T07:47:00.000-06:00

Awkward:

A man in Walmart examining Brielle’s teeth and saying, “Ibet you showed mom what those are good for.” And then looking at me hecontinues, “I bet she hurt you with those little chompers.” Not sure how toreply, I lifted an eyebrow, “Uh huh…” (YesMr. Creepy, I would love to discuss all about the adventures of breastfeedingwith you, but this is a bad time, maybe you could come over later for someherbal tea?) (This is also why I may never go to Walmart again.)

Brielle yelling, “owwie owwie!” when I pick her up when sheis about to do something naughty like run into the street. (No- all you people with dirty looks, I do not abuse my child.)

Brielle and I playing “Who’s daddy is that?” as we watch theneighbors come home from work and school. Brielle now calls every adult male “daddy.” (Um Brielle, that’s the wrong daddy.)

Forgetting to turn off the crockpot when cooking roast, and thennot doing the dishes, or turning off the crockpot. Now our house smells like potpourrifrom disgustingville.

Awesome:

Chris coming home from school, and Brielle almosthyperventilating with happiness-and me almost hyperventilating with happiness.

Brielle spilling her Gerber's Little Crunchie's snacks all over her lap and car-seatwhile I am driving. At first I said, “Brielle! what a mess!” But then a half smilestole across my face as I began to see the brighter side of things, “guess I’llhave to help you clean it up,” and I grab a fistful of the fallen snacks to eatthem. (Seriously, those baby snacks are good! Have you tried them?).......…Should thisbe under “awkward”?

The way Brielle’s little belly pokes out.

Her and her “baby” have matching pajamas.

what I wore when Brielle's shirt was on backwards and I forgot to give Chris non-blurry camera training

2012-02-01T06:00:00.000-06:00

Oh, and I have a habit of covering my hand with my sleeve.

But despite my imperfections, I'm still going to change the world.

And disclaimers are stupid.

games

2012-01-31T09:20:00.001-06:00

This morning I woke up with abounding energy,ready to make beds, tackle piles of dishes, organize pantries, run a few miles,and sing songs with Brielle.

Sometimes we play a game called, “how high can we stack thedishes.” And I think that the dishes won this time.

Better games that we play are called, “what can we find whenwe look at something twice.”

Sometimes we win that game.

Another game we love to win is, "can we get Brielle to sit in her highchair at a restaurant?"

Because that game is harder than it looks.

a day apart

2012-01-27T07:49:00.002-06:00

I know that I will miss her, but being apart for a day is sogood for both of us. She gets to be spoiled rotten by grandma, and I get to goon a date, organize the closets, and squeeze in a quality run around the ol’ block.

Sometimes the best part is just watching her reaction as grandmaarrives at the meeting spot.

Secrets, Fashion, and a Thank you

2012-01-25T06:00:00.000-06:00

So you know how I hate cold weather? Well, I think the law ofattraction must really work because I wished for this winter to be super warm,and guess what?! The Universe delivered!

(Have you guys heard The Secret?) I’ve been reading it lately and I’ve been really tryingto put it into practice. Like, for example, the woman who wrote the book saysthat you only need to envision your perfect body and it will be yours if youreally believe. So I’ve been visualizing. I’ve been visualizing my perfectarms as I lift tacos to my mouth, and graciously accept every single sample available atCostco. I’ve been dreaming of ripped abs as I eat cookies, and squirt Redi Whipout of the bottle directly into my mouth. And I feel optimistic!

I figure 300extra calories=1 extra minute of visualizing my perfect body, and it’s as if Ididn’t eat anything extra at all!

Also, they say that if you want a million dollars or a newcar, you only need to ask the universe for it, and envision it, and it will beyours eventually! So if I suddenly become a millionaire with a fancy new car then wewill all know why.

Actually, I'm totally just kidding. The Secret is a bunch of bologna, and if we receive blessings it will be because of the grace of a merciful Heavenly Father.

So Brielle and I played in the snow for the first time this winter. And in my opinion, playing in the snow once per winter is just fine.

But most of the time, we are too wimpy to go outside anyway, so we stay in, and try to Skype with "gammah"

....things are getting exciting!

Yay!

then Brielle gives "gammah" kisses.

Every reflective surface in my house has kiss marks all over it. We are a kissy family.

And then I decide to get all "what I wore" on you. Because, why not?

Dress: thrifted; Cardi: Gap; Necklaces and earrings gifts; Watch: from a local craft fair; bracelet: gift; Shoes: Payless

By the way, if you live in Omaha, you need to go to the Blue Flamingo thrift store near 10th and Center. It's the best.

Do I need to explain that Brielle has a lipsticky kiss on her cheek and not a rash?

"You're the best."
"No you're the best!"
"Oh, stop."

Also, I want to say thank you for all the help you guys offered me yesterday in my post about Brielle being bullied. It helped so much, and I actually do know what I am going to do next time Brielle is bullied. I will tell the bully that what he is doing could hurt Brielle and to please not do it again.

A lot of you said that the bully could be seeing bad treatment at home, and remarked on how sad it is that he may live in hard circumstances. When I thought that this could be the case, my feelings shifted from anger to compassion for that little boy. Thank you for helping me to remember to always give others the benefit of a doubt-especially a child. I think it is important to always show others love and mercy, but at the same time to be firm in the boundaries of what is, and is not appropriate. Heaven help me to love others while still showing strength for my family and myself.

Thank you so much for helping me come to this conclusion. I feel at peace.

Technically, Chris is a gummy bear

2012-01-23T06:00:00.000-06:00

Some men are tough on the outside and gummy on the inside. Kind of like a candy-coated gummy bear?

Chris likes to think that he is a gruff man, with a teeny bit of gummy at the very core.

However, what Chris doesn’t realize, is that his candy-coating melted long ago, and he is about as soft and chewy as they come- like a gummy bear that’s been slowly melting in my car's cup-holder during the summer...

And sometimes it is too cold outside to try to be tough. So Brielle, Chris, and I just cuddle, and pamper, and eat chocolate.

Chris just makes sure to stay out of the pictures.

It's a privilege to be a part of the process of this girl waking up- to be the first person she sees right after she has been dreaming of the beautiful world that babies must dream about.

Sometimes it sounds like this:

"Hello my darling, sweet precious, angel baby from heaven, you sweet sweet, delicious cheeked, pink-nosed, princess schnookums squeeze."

Chris tries to roll his eyes at words like this, but he knows he loves it.

"Look Brielle, red toes."

"Let's paint your toesies next, and then we'll paint daddy's."

But don't worry, I've never actually painted Chris' toes.

Then the girl gets dressed

and don't forget the accessories that she will hold in her tiny perfect fingers.

Days like this are what are contributing to the dangerous softening of Chris's gummy bear center.

Pretty soon he'll just be a puddle.

Baby fever: isn’t it about time?

2012-01-18T06:00:00.000-06:00

The other day I was running on the treadmill, while watching Desperate Housewives (my guilty pleasure) and a commercial came on by Johnson and Johnson. In the video, a woman is washing her baby boy in the kitchen sink. Everything is black and white and you can almost reach your hand out and just pinch the baby's fat little arms. The script is something like, “You’ve alwaysfallen for the tall dark and handsome type; who knew the love of your lifewould be short and bald.”

Forget about it. Tears were streaming down my face. I was runningon the treadmill and sobbing at the same time. (Can you picture that?)

Treadmillbreakdowns happen a lot these days- Hallmark commercials, Johnson and Johnson,And LDS (mormon) messages. They’re the worst. (“Family, isn’t it about…time?”) Waaaaahhhhhh!

And I’ve been thinking about being in labor- I wouldseriously go through labor once a month- No! Once a week! To get that angelicfeeling like I am glowing and heaven is all around. Babies really are sentstraight from heaven. Having a baby is a sacred thing.

And…. I want…another one!!!!!! Somebody stop me!!!! I’m adanger to myself!

sunday picnic and thoughts on perception

2012-01-16T09:04:00.001-06:00

This Sunday I was determined to take a nice picture with all three of us in it. Let's face it, we haven't had one of those since the girl was a week old. And those pictures were a little scary considering how grossly I over-estimated how great I looked in my pre-pregnancy clothes.

I thought my size-small-shirt looked awesome stretched out over the incredible surface-area of my body (I actually looked like a deflated balloon). But I looked in the mirror the day I came home from the hospital and cat-called, "wooo wooo." The world looked like candy-land, the clouds looked like they belonged in a Mario World Nintendo game, my husband looked like Brad Pitt, the nurses had a golden aura.

I am so glad I didn't have the baby blues, but should there be a diagnoses for manic happiness?

But let's get back to this Sunday: it was lovely. I asked my dad take the pictures. I was in heaven getting everything ready. All the details- the teddy bear, the magic wand, the pitcher of water, the blue-berries, the hearts on the pink quilt, everything was nostalgic and Valentiney (and oh, so girly).

Brielle waved around her magic wand, and ate bread. Chris hates taking pictures, but he is always a great sport and I love that about him. I think the pictures turned out really well.

I'm in love with romantic things. I want life to be beautiful and whimsical. I don't want it to look like a manic happy, hormone induced candy-land, but if it looks like heaven on earth, that's ok with me.

The reset button

2012-01-13T08:25:00.002-06:00

Right around the time when we are all losing our heads

Chris is home! and suddenly my life makes sense again!

time freezes for a second

Like some invisible finger just pushed the "reset" button.

baby pee melts my heart I guess

2012-01-12T05:51:00.002-06:00

Brielle peed on my bed after her bath, before I had time to put another diaper on her. Chris and I ran the girl back to the tub, and threw the blankets from the bed into the washing machine.

You see, when this girl came from heaven, she came with a p.s. note. It said, "This girl is wonderful, but she is hard, hard work, and you don't believe me now, but that hard work will make you love her even more."
Wait, or is that just what my mom told me when I was in a hormone induced high, cradling her in my arms after she was born?

Anyway, it doesn't matter. The point is that she is just so tiny and helpless! She doesn't know anything. Even her pee is cute- just a little yellow puddle.

And she looks at me with wide eyes, wondering why I am yelling for Chris to help get the girl in the tub, so I can put everything in the washing machine.

After she is washed (again) and wrapped up in a towel, I cuddle her close to me and Oh! I just love that girl. She is pure sunshine, and love just flows from her little warm body.

When the comforter and sheets came out of the dryer, I let her romp around in them to her heart's content, fully dressed and diapered.

I didn't want to miss an opportunity for her and the blankets to make up.

The "out-fit" post that liberated me?

2012-01-11T06:14:00.003-06:00

Do I really have to call this an "out-fit" post? that just sounds kinda superficial, doesn't it? Instead, can I call this a liberation post? I feel liberated! With my liberating Marilyn lipstick, and vintage dress, and my sassy I-don't-care-what-you-think attitude? (alright, I guess I don't have a sassy attitude at all, but I'm working on it ok?)

And you know what?! I don't think this is superficial at all. I love being feminine and hunting for beauty- I think it is part of what makes me a woman- and you know what? I LOVE being a woman! I love it. I love dressing up, and rocking my baby, and cuddling my husband, and making up recipes, and singing, I'm like a wanna-be-Disney-princess for heaven's sake, and I love it! So there.

So to get to my point:

the day I decide to take a very first out-fit post, I also think it will be fun to visit my husband, the dentist-in-training. And Brielle ran around like crazy, so there was a lot of bending over, and picking up, and rubbing hands against dirty desks, and the usual, germy mayhem.

That is why I have dental material all over my dress and shoes.

But regardless of my chalky outfit, it was a really good time.

Oh! and on a totally unrelated side of thought...

Isn't she beautiful?

Home is where your heart decides to smell the roses

2012-01-10T06:30:00.005-06:00

Before I turned 18 I had moved 22 times. My dad was in the military.

I ache to have a place to call home someday

I wish I could say that it was a great experience and I loved learning about different cultures and making new friends and exploring. And for a long time I did tell people those very things: for a long time I lied.

But you know what? I think I have learned that it is alright to stop acting like I am always stronger than my circumstances.

I think maybe moving made me stronger in the long run...but I know in some ways it made me weaker too. I think after I over-come the ways in which it made me weaker, then I can truly say that it made me stronger.

One way it made me weaker is that I have a hard time enjoying where I am because I have a strong sense of transience. Why get attached to something temporary? I guess this weird philosophy is, “why stop and smell the roses when there will be more (maybe bigger!) roses somewhere else.”

Well, I’ve decided something. I am here now. For better or for worse, Omaha is my home- at least for now. When we leave here I want to cry because I loved it and I'll miss it.

And for the next two and a half years I want to smell the roses in Omaha.

So I spent some time exploring this town of mine. Chris watched little miss, and I photographed to my heart's content.

Here are some of my roses:

Alright Omaha, I am giving you my heart-for now.

Lipstick affair

2012-01-09T06:15:00.001-06:00

Lipstick and I have never really gotten to know each other before until
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes came up under my Netflix suggestions, and I took the bait. I wanted to know what the big deal about Marilyn was.

And I think I get it.

I think I get why she was so big- there was just something about her that was….

I don’t know. But I think these pictures may help explain:

So lipstick makes me feel like Marilyn Monroe, and I've been wearing it ever since.

Now I think I’m going to go dye my hair platinum if you don’t mind (wink)

the kiss that was heard around the world (ok, maybe just around the cul-de-sac)

2012-01-06T10:57:00.001-06:00

Maybe it's because we put up Valentine's decorations

It could have been because of the lipsticky kisses she's been getting from momma lately

Maybe it was the ridiculously cute pucker

but whatever the cause, love is in the air

Someone please shoot me before this girl becomes a teenager.

after the holidays are over

2012-01-04T04:00:00.001-06:00

After sparkling chandeliers

and fancy smiles for the camera

After reflecting on what is most important

And finally, the Christmas lights are dimmed.

Then mountains of clothes emerge from dense suitcases.

And it is pajamas and busy house all day.

But still, it is so good to be home.

Hello 2012! The year that all my wildest (dumbest?) dreams come true (right?)

2012-01-02T21:03:00.000-06:00

12 songs by June written on sheet music (which means 2 songs a month!) eeep!!

Stop the boredom snacking/emotional eating monster! He has terrorized my waistline long enough! Quick! Throw out the junk food!

(I am certifiably addicted to running, so I am sure that lack of exercise is not the problem here.)

Do something creative with Brielle every day (I am thinking lots of parties, painting, photos, crafting, and celebrating)

Become a better writer (thank you blog)

and a better photographer (again, thank you blog)

Have a cuter house

Be more organized and limit the procrastination because my babies [I mean] young women deserve someone who loves them!

Be a better friend

Be myself and be free and go nuts!

By the way, Chris' resolution is to survive the 2012 apocalypse. (We watched Walking Dead, so we feel pretty prepared.)

And Brielle's is a little (too?) optimistic

Goodbye and thanks

2011-12-31T18:57:00.000-06:00

Dear 2011,

Thanks for teaching me about myself.

Thanks for all the pillow talk with Chris--those are the times the world seems simpler.

And thanks for that time I came home and found Brielle riding Chris around the house like a horse.

Oh, and for all the play-dates to the playground, zoo, Costco, and Children’s museum.

for all the hot wings Chris and I consumed together.

and Brielle’s grandparents and their spoiling tendencies.

Thanks for our family and friends.

And especially all the amazing experiences I've had with my girls in the young women program.

Thanks for the hiking in Colorado and Arizona.

for the princesses at Disney World and the special attention they gave Brielle.

and the cruise so I could see more beautiful places on this earth.

Thanks and no thanks for Creighton Women’s Dental Alliance (don’t tell anyone else, but I think it is way more trouble than it is worth.)

Thanks for all the runs and the endorphins that result.

and all the good books, and the nerdy but effective motivational CD's.

Thanks for the dreams, even the really dumb ones.

and for helping me to accept that I’m a home-body and that it's ok to not want to socialize every once in a while.

Oh and speaking of bodies, thanks for mine- I have a sneaky suspicion that giving life to another human is the greatest thing a body can do.)

I'll miss ya 2011. Thanks.

Christmas news with unrelated pictures because my picture taking habits have relapsed into laziness for the holidays...

2011-12-30T15:42:00.000-06:00

Every time I come to Arizona to visit Chris’ family I find a scorpion. I think this is God’s way of telling me not to live in Arizona. This time it was lurking in the shower, just ready to pounce on my naked toe. Upon screaming, a husband running to the rescue, and closer examination, we found that it was already dead. Good thing for him because after this incident, I am basically a scorpion’s worst nightmare. If I was a scorpion and I ran into myself, I would wish I were dead. You know?

But here is another piece of news that has nothing to do with scorpions:

Every year we have a tradition and it is my favorite tradition ever. Let me explain, on Christmas Eve everyone gets a bowl of rice pudding, but in one of the bowls an almond is hidden. The person who finds the almond in her bowl, gets two things: a chocolate gift and good luck for a year.

You must believe in the power of the almond, because that almond is pure magic. It is proven!

Year after year, the person who gets the almond has a year of good luck. I should know! I won it last year, and 2011 was literally the best year of my life.

But to get to the point: Chris won the almond this year, which means that he gets good luck! And I get good luck vicariously because he is my husband!! And good luck for everybody! and to all a good year!!! Just rub my head! It's proven!!

merry cruisemas

2011-12-28T14:31:00.000-06:00

the year we learned that Chris can follow instructions, but his wife can't

2011-12-14T06:45:00.000-06:00

I am an cooking experimenter at heart. I never follow a recipe exactly. I always do my own thing. It's just who I am. I may be inspired by a recipe, and decide to make something similar, but if I've already had someone explain to me exactly how to do something, then all the fun is just sucked out.

I know, I know.

Anyway, here is the sad, sad story of our Christmas treats:

Never underestimate the power of the popcorn ball. It can be molded! and shaped to any form! It will bend to your will! It can become!!

(Unless you cook the candy coating too long- if you do that, then it will harden instantly, and you won't be able to add garlands or ornaments to your popcorn ball Christmas tree. (Not to mention you will only have time to do 7 trees before the candy hardens and you were going to do like 30.)

If you add peppermints to a chocolate chip cookie recipe... then, just sprinkle the peppermints on top when the cookies are done baking. Oh, and if you are using a dark pan to cook cookies, lower the temperature of the oven and cook the cookies a little longer.

And don't even get me started on the reindeer poop.

After these failed attempts, the husb. gently and lovingly informed me that baking is meant for people who know how to follow instructions. People like him.

And it is good to know that at least one of us can!!!

When a little sister falls in love

2011-12-12T08:02:00.000-06:00

Saturday night in Nebraska, while I was lying in bed, contemplating whether I should get up to go to the bathroom, or try to hold it until after the next dream, this was happening in Idaho:

Congratulations you two!

I just know you will live long happy lives together with blue-eyed children named after brands of pianos (very taste-fully done, of course) winters spent on mountaintops, and dates on the tennis court. (but let's not forget the serious problems in the cooking department :)

And all this thinking of how happy I am is leading to excess loving on Brielle.
You see, this is Chris' finals week (rendering him unavailable) and poor Brielle is bearing the brunt of all my happiness- and do you have any idea how delicious her little cheeks are?! I can't stop!! Someone please get the girl some face lotion!!

snow and spice and...well, that's it really.

2011-12-09T07:57:00.000-06:00

via

Yesterday, swirling around the house, like the ashes of better seasons, was more of my favorite stuff. It just snowed and snowed and snowed, for years I think.

Husb. walked in the front door yesterday singing, “It’s beginning to look a lot like hell”… an Arizona boy, made in the desert sun, after the manner of mine own heart.

And even though I grew up, a true military child, in all parts of America, twice. I do believe I have established the sentiment firmly- and there are not many of those that I have established firmly, because my most unyielding talent is to be indecisive. But over time, I have established the feeling firmly, that snow is enjoyable for two-weeks-to-a-month, and after that it is time for spring.

My poor Brielle is alone in her love of snow.

And considering that it is my bedtime while I write this, and I tend to be more risky at night anyway, here is a piece of thought:

The dearly beloved blog has been feeling a little too feel-goody lately, and it felt nice to write a story with a little swear in it, maybe I'll be sprinkling the good ol' blog with a few “damnits” every once in a while, just so you know I can be a little spicy sometimes. You can blame it on the Tani-meets-Winter-effect.

and for this season, just call me "saffron."

painting: building beauty

2011-12-06T09:40:00.000-06:00

The white paint was all over my hands, arms, and feet as well and hers. But I didn't worry about the mess because everything can be replaced, and memories can not.

This led me to think about how pursuing creative outlets is not an escape from the duties of being a wife and mother to me. Rather, my family moves me in a way that is difficult to express in words, so I try to express it in other ways. Doing creative things increases, and brings me to a greater understanding of my love for them.

I have a responsibility--no, it is more than a responsibility, it is an intense desire that feels like a calling, which moves me to make life beautiful for them. This does not mean I am ignorant of life's challenges and ugly difficulties. But if my response to those challenges is good, and strong, then life can be beautiful, even more beautiful than if the ugly had remained unknown.

This is something I love about being a wife a mother: it is an incredible opportunity to lift, strengthen, and beautify.

when a little girl falls in love with snow

2011-12-05T07:30:00.000-06:00

On snowy days, she presses her face to the window.

The little girl has just fallen in love with the white fluff.

So her mother takes her on a walk, and they gather sticks.

newspaper and buttons become snowflakes

Later, it is declared a hot cocoa night.

This is how the girl's mother copes with snow.

And with snow now located inside the house as well as outside, hot cocoa may just become a daily thing.

One last hurrah for Thankfullness! and then we can all move on to writing down what we don't have on a Christmas list.

2011-12-02T08:15:00.000-06:00

why I blog

2011-11-30T07:38:00.000-06:00

This was a guest post I did on a sponsor's blog, and I thought I would share it here because I am realizing that I don't really ever talk about why I blog.

I don't care if it is cheesy. It's the truth.

Tell us about yourself
My blog is mostly an experiment in trying to make my life a story worth telling. It helps me be a better wife and mom, and a better person because it challenges me to live fully. Through my blog, I have discovered song-writing, and a tolerance of crafts. My blog has also turned me into a picture-taker (I don't think I am ready to call myself a photographer yet). Oh! and if I had more money to spend on clothes, I would probably be waaaaaay in love with fashion posts.

What inspired you to start your blog?
Honestly, I started my blog because all of my friends were starting blogs. I only used my blog three or four times a year for three years. But recently, I have been inspired because I found blogs that were so wonderful, uplifting and life-changing. I was amazed at wonderful women in the blogging world, and wanted to be more like them. I wanted to make my life a story worth telling.

What are 5 of your favorite things?
1. I love cuddling with my husband and my baby. 2. I love writing in my journal because when I organize my thoughts, it inspires me to be more creative. 3. I love laughing. 4. I love feeling peaceful at the end of the day when I know I did good things. 5. I love good food and eating it with my husband because he loves good food too. We both love to eat like a man- the only problem is, I don't have a man's metabolism.

What is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to you?
The most exciting thing that has ever happened to me was having my baby. Seriously, I had so much adrenaline pumping that day. I had butterflies in my tummy, I was so nervous and excited.

Describe a typical day in your life as a blogger.
I wake up really early so I can blog before my baby wakes up. Then I don't touch my computer for the rest of the day. But I think about my blog so I remember to take pictures and do fun creative things.

If you could share anything with the world, what it would it be?
That God loves them. There is always hope, and good will win in the end.

vicarious food

2011-11-29T07:51:00.000-06:00

Despite our love of a traditional Christmas, we are going to be having a much warmer Christmas this year, which means swimsuits! will be involved!!!

Needless to say, I am on a diet.

and it's probably a little creepy that I stare at Chris when he is chewing.

And it may have been a little over-board when I made two cups of hot chocolate last night, and made the husb. drink both of them.

I think I'm living vicariously through him.

skater girl

2011-11-28T06:50:00.000-06:00

Thanksmas evening finds my family and I strolling down an Iowa bike path,

enjoying the beautiful bare trees.

and somehow this happened:

I swear in a parallel universe I am like a girl Tony Hawk or something.

But in this universe, I am just a crazy lady who steals her brother's long-board while he is on a mission.

an awkward family thanksmas

2011-11-25T16:39:00.000-06:00

Most of all, I'm just thankful for my silly family.

And our purple dining room.

All I want for Christmas is an SUV

2011-11-21T09:13:00.000-06:00

One Tuesday morning, not so long ago, upon picking Brielle up from being baby-sat by her grandparents,

my mother uttered some words that have forever changed my life: "Would you like to borrow the Pilot?" She asked.

The smile that covered my face must have scared her because she immediately changed her mind.

But I convinced my mother that borrowing the Pilot was necessary. After all, I would be hauling my siblings and all their luggage from the Omaha airport all the way to Des Moines on Saturday. Reluctantly, she agreed.

Normally, I am very much a boring driver.

I listen to Seven Habits of Highly Effective People on CD, or the Christian radio station, or Taylor Swift on Pandora.

However, lately I've been partying it up in the Pilot. Listening to "I'm Bringing Sexy Back," or Rihanna's "Cheers."

Also, there is a Costco 30 minutes from my house. And I pilgrimaged to Costco every day I had the Pilot.
I did this not only because I enjoyed the long drive, but mostly because of the power trip I got from knowing I had the trunk space to haul back whatever I wanted to buy.

And just when I thought I could stay away from Costco because I'd had my fill.

Chris wanted to go for Friday date night.

Done.

So the good news for poor, party-worn Brielle is that I had to give back the beloved SUV on Saturday night.

The bad news is, I think I know what I want for Christmas.

when a cup of brown sugar inspires contemplation on the circle of life

2011-11-18T06:51:00.000-06:00

Sometimes one heart...

finds another heart...

and with the help of a master chef,

they make something special.

Sometimes I'm so deep I can't stand it.

A Santa baby and her family says merry Thanksmas

2011-11-17T07:12:00.000-06:00

I know it hasn't even been Thanksgiving yet, and some people are going to hate this,

but...

around these parts, we call this time of year "Thanksmas"

indoor camping

2011-11-15T09:03:00.000-06:00

Sometimes dental school steals my husband away for four years. So sometimes, we fight back.

and we talk about deep things,
like how frequently the smoke alarm goes off when I cook.

And the many things Chris blew up with fireworks as a teenager.

Don't worry mom, there was a fire-extinguisher right outside the tent.

happy friday (go eat something yummy)

2011-11-11T14:00:00.000-06:00

Did you know that Nutella on white bread tastes like a donut?

Brielle does.

mmm Nutella....

While she was eating, I just had to say, "This is not a good thing you do Augustus!"

But whether or not it is a good thing, sometimes on Fridays, we just eat what we want....

even the girl.

Shocking, I know.

On shopping, and fertile hands

2011-11-10T07:50:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we went shopping

Did you know that dressing rooms make excellent play-grounds?

Brielle kisses herself.

Who could blame her?

Then it was time for the girl's nap, so we went home, and I put her down.

Then I put some more paint onto a painting I've been working on, and afterwards, valiantly tried to get the paint off my hands.

However, the paint was stubborn, and I am not one to fight with paint, so I stopped scrubbing, and began practice on the piano.

I wasn't bothered that some of the paint refused to come off. It reminded me of someone I once knew who always had paint on her hands.

I used to look at her hands and think of how beautiful they were because they revealed a passion for art and for life. Then, I would look at my barren hands and wonder if they would ever create anything beautiful.

As I was sitting down at the piano during my precious girl's nap-time, playing so softly so I wouldn't wake her, I looked down at my hands, covered in paint, and marveled how they are not as ugly and barren as I had once thought.

Then I said a tearful prayer of thanks.

waiting for 5

2011-11-09T08:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, on gloomy days, we just can't wait for the man of the house to come home.

so we try to keep ourselves occupied with new toys

and when 5 o' clock is just minutes away

it gets a little exciting

the dormant chef speaks out!

2011-11-08T07:23:00.000-06:00

Once upon a flight home I was inspired...

The food Network was showing a series in which Iron Chefs were making normal dishes out of Halloween candy. After five minutes of viewing, my free t.v. preview ran out. I was disappointed to have only seen a lonely candy-corn dish.

However! the (normally dormant) chef on my shoulder whispered, "why not chicken mole with Reese's peanut butter cups??"

hmmm....

So I came to this:

I thought this could be a Mexican dish with a Thai twist (because of the peanut butter) so I used coconut milk as the base, but you could also use cream. To the base, I added in about a half cup of sugar (as seen in the [accidentally] black and white, second picture).

Also, I patted the chicken dry after defrosting it, brushed it with butter, and cooked it in the oven at 375 for 25 minutes...sitting in a pool of butter. (I never said this recipe was healthy). Later, I shredded it, and added it to the sauce.

(This cooking of normal recipes with Halloween candy may become a tradition.)

My mouth was happy

Chris' mouth was very happy

Brielle's mouth was very very happy

The end.

A really, really good morning

2011-11-05T20:35:00.000-05:00

This morning, a tender little dream came true. Christmas came a bit early, and I opened a present that I am still smiling about. It was nestled in styrofoam peanuts, black, and shining with potential. My dad gave me his old Nikon, and a tele-scoping lens.

My limited experience with photography has taught me to see more beauty in the world, and also to see the world a little more realistically, and somehow, that is not a contradiction.

Go to work! little imagination of mine.

A seasonal showdown

2011-11-04T10:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Brielle and I chased the snow away.

We reminded Winter which season is in charge right now.

Then Brielle threw her chalk down in final defiance

And proceeded to dump fall leaves and rocks onto my lap.

Take that, Winter.

heart-breaking winter...it's coming.

2011-11-03T09:08:00.000-05:00

I hate winter

But it is the only season I don't love.

It breaks my heart to tell Brielle, "we can't go outside today because it is too cold."

We need to get this girl a snow-suit.

How we spent our Monday...

2011-11-02T09:35:00.000-05:00

We gathered

We charmed

We ate

We conquered.

Places to be, people to see

2011-11-01T10:25:00.000-05:00

I was a little nervous to see my grandparents at first because I haven't seen them for so long, but when my grandpa hugged me, it reminded me so much of my dad's hugs.

I feel more at ease around people who are hard of hearing, or don't understand me. This must be why I love babies and older people so much.

We also stopped to see my cousin and friend, Emily and her beautiful baby, Sophie.

The babies were a little less excited to take pictures than we were...

And of course I saw my sister, Chantel.

(I think she may be in love.)

I told you Rexburg is the city of love!

It's in the water, I swear.

irresistible

2011-10-24T07:51:00.000-05:00

Chris and I practiced our model faces.

I think Chris is better at it than me.

Chris' model face was a little irresistible.

Actually, they are both irresistible.

I just love them.

a post not for ze faint of 'art!!

2011-10-22T23:17:00.000-05:00

Seence it is almost Howlloveeeen I vill show you vhat my family and I vreally are.

Because everyone else is pretending to be super-natural, no one vill really belieeeeve zat I am deadly zerious... VAH Hahahaha!

But to get to my point:
You 'ave NO idea 'ow much vork I slave, editing our photos to conceal our true nature. (It's SO time conzuming). vhile you are airbrushing piiimples, I am trying to make fangs look like normal teez, and zuppress my accvent.

Chreestopher and I are 'appily living the Edward/Bella lifestyle.

Unlike zem, 'owever, vee are not...(vhat you call?) "vegeetarianns."

Fact: Two vampires cannot 'ave a vampire sheeldren, so we adopted our zombie shild:

zat is all I can tell you for now, I cannot reesk much more expozzure, or you are shure to belieeeve me, and zen ve vill 'ave to leave our lives behind and move somevhere new vhere Chreestopher can pretend to be in dental svool all ovvver agaaain.

Besides, I have to go feed our pet vere-elk.

Oh, and a vord of caution to the vise before you click yourself away from zis blog...
We 'ave to stock up food storage during Halloveen vhen no one vill blow the vistle on us....
Zat is your varning!!!

Butterfly frustration

2011-10-19T09:39:00.000-05:00

Almost

ALMOST!!!

NOOOOO!!!!!!!

Cold, cold go away.

2011-10-18T13:38:00.000-05:00

What am I going to do when this weather starts getting colder?
Well for one thing, we won't be feeding goats anymore because there will be no leaves around, and the goats will be inside.
Our walks in the gardens will turn into gazing out the window.
I will worry about how I need to stop eating out of boredom.
Oh Winter, you old geezer, I hope you take your time getting here.
But I'm not sure you will, considering how cold I was on our walk this morning.

How to make owl popcorn balls

2011-10-15T14:12:00.000-05:00

So remember how I don't really like crafting?? Well, I think it is starting to grow on me... really this is weird.

But I think I am starting to like food crafting. (Do food crafts count as a real craft?)

And I decided to take advantage of one of my rare domestic whims, so I made popcorn balls into owls to pass out to neighbors. And here is how.

Start with a popcorn ball recipe.

Here is the one that I used:

Old-Fashioned Popcorn Balls

8 cups popped JOLLY TIME^® Blast O Butter or Butter Licious Microwave Pop Corn

1 cup granulated sugar

1/3 cup light or dark corn syrup

1/3 cup water

1/4 cup butter or margarine

1/2 tsp. salt

1 tsp. vanilla

Here's How:
Keep popped popcorn warm in 200F oven while preparing syrup. In 2-quart saucepan, stir together sugar, corn syrup, water, butter and salt. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Continue cooking without stirring until temperature reaches 270F on a candy thermometer or until a small amount of syrup dropped into very cold water separates into threads, which are hard but not brittle. Remove from heat. Add vanilla; stir just enough to mix through hot syrup. Slowly pour over popcorn, stirring to coat every kernel. Cool just enough to handle. Shape into balls, using JOLLY TIME^® Pop Corn Ball Maker or buttered hands. Cool on foil or buttered wax paper.

Yield: 12 medium popcorn balls

recipe via

(At the point this picture was taken, the only thing stopping my from sticking my head under the trickle of caramel, was the searing hot temperature of the caramel...and the fact that I was holding a heavy camera and pouring the caramel at the same time...[hard]).

Ingredients for the owl features:

1 bag of orange slices candy

1 bad of candy corn

1 bag of jumbo size marshmallows

About 1 cup of chocolate chips

I think that most of the instructions are self-explanatory once you see the pictures of the owls, but here are some tips I think will help:

slice the marshmallows for the whites of the owl's eyes with a sharp, non-serrated knife. Just slice all the way through, without sawing. (I sharpened my knife before this step to make the marshmallow easier to slice).

Place the marshmallow slices onto the popcorn ball on the sticky side. The end slices of the marshmallow will only have one sticky side. On the other side, tear a small hole where you want the chocolate chip, or pupil, to be placed, this will help the chocolate chip to stick to the marshmallow, or eye-white.

Slice the orange slices in half and stick them to the popcorn balls on the sticky side.

Use some melted candy corn as glue if things just aren't sticking. The candy-corn only needs to be melted for 10-15 seconds in the microwave. I used melted candy-corn to stick all the beaks on the pop-corn balls, as they wouldn't stick on their own.

Here is a picture of the finished easy version:

An orange slice is placed in between the eyes to create the frowed look an owl has. (Did I just made up the word, "frowed")??

Here is a picture of the finished medium version:

And here is a picture of the harder version

On any version you choose to make, make sure that when you are first shaping the pop-corn balls, and they are still warm, that you squish the ball against the counter (or in the case of the harder version owl, against the counter, and then against the bottom ball). This way, they will be stable on a plate.

Now go have a happy h-OWL-o-ween!! Hoot hoot!!

Why I love the fall

2011-10-12T22:02:00.000-05:00

For the love of sisters, and stairs.

2011-10-08T02:00:00.000-05:00

A Texan sister-of-mine asked if I would post pictures of Brielle on the move.

And because I LOVE her, when Chelsey asks to see the girl on the move, she really gets it!

Here, on a beautiful fall day, Brielle is getting up from a fall, she falls a lot, especially in the fall, when the leaves are falling all around and confuse her, and now I am falling apart with all these fall references, please don't fall away from my blog for all my...fall fall falls...umm...nevermind.

And here she is, running towards the stairs, her favorite location in the entire world.
She likes the stairs better than the playground, or the grocery store, or the zoo, or the amusement park, or Disney world, or the whole world, or the universe. When Brielle grows up, she is going to live in a house made entirely of stairs. That is her goal.

How can a house be made of stairs?

In Brielle's dreams at night, she is running across a huge field of flowers, with her arms wide open. She is moving in slow motion, classical music is playing, and the stairs are at the other end of the field.

But when I take her away from the stairs, trees are also satisfactory...

For a little while...

Detour!! Back to the stairs of her dreams.

And when I pull her away... she heads for yet another set of stairs.

So I strap her into a swing, so she can't be on the stairs. But the whole time she is stairing at the stares!

Oh, I mean staring at the stairs.

The girl loves the stairs. Almost as much as I love you, Chelsey.

Me and my little (boy?)... I don't think so.

2011-10-04T21:58:00.000-05:00

Today a woman said, "Oh, isn't he just a smile-ly little guy?"

At which comment, my smile was no longer the star on the stage of my face.

It squinched into a supporting role... for my evil eye.

I hate it when people think that Brielle is a boy.

I mean, what about her doesn't just scream femininity:

In fact, she is so feminine that we are thinking of entering her into a pageant. Her talent will be, "sliding glass door impressions."

Here is her "little miss piggy."

This is her "Angelina Jolie"... although the nose is a little off.

And last, but certainly not least...

This is her, "Let me in" look.

It says, "Look how cute I am! I don't poop! I won't eat the dirt in your potted plant. And I would certainly never dream of throwing pureed green beans at you."

She is really good at that last one.

I fall for it every day.

I miss my friend

2011-09-27T23:11:00.000-05:00

I have a memory of Chantel, with her long blonde hair, in a long dress, sitting at a piano in Arizona, playing Claire de Lune at my wedding reception.

Claire de Lune was her favorite song for a long time, and she filled the air with that song, it seemed like, whenever I saw her.

Today "Claire de Lune" played on Pandora, and I lost it.

I didn't realize I would miss Chantel this much.

I wish I could get back to blogging about things that make me laugh, but it is just now hitting me that she is grown up.

Before she left for college, Chantel wrote me a song. In that song, she said that one of her cherished childhood memories was something that I helped create:

In Georgia one year, it snowed right around Christmas time (which was a miracle). My dad had put up the Christmas lights, and the whole family was outside enjoying them, except Chantel. She was in bed already.

I went in the house, and I gathered her blankets around her, and carried her outside, so she could see the lights right when she was waking up.

picture via

I had forgotten about that, but I am so glad to know about it now, because it helps me feel better about the (many) times I wasn't as nice to her as I should have been.

Chantel, I love you, I am sorry I stole your shawl for these pictures. I promise I will put it back in your closet, where it belongs. To be honest, I don't normally wear shawls.

But I wore yours...because it was yours.

I miss you.

on the wrong side of the line

2011-09-21T22:48:00.000-05:00

Brielle's grandma has become an empty-nester, so now she wants to babysit the girl once a week.

And she wants to babysit overnight.

I am doing the normal, "good-mamma-used-to-a-kid-in-the-house" things.

For example, I keep listening for sounds of the little miss waking up, and I can't (not) tiptoe down the hallway when I walk near her bed-room. And the silence is just. so. weird.

I had a huge list of things to do today, which has just barely been touched.

(I decided to do instead, the things I don't get to do much of when the miss is around.)

And the question I have for you is:

How much am I allowed to enjoy this, really?

Because I know there is a line around here somewhere... where I cross over from an appropriate amount of enjoyment to an inappropriate amount of enjoyment.

What kind of cold heart would not miss her:

Nonetheless, I might be enjoying this on the inappropriate side of the line.

But I haven't nursed anything all day! Which brings me to the only down-side: My boobs are (pain-fully) inflated to DD's.

But maybe, I am thinking, beauty is pain, and DD's are an upside?

Like I said, I am on the inappropriate side of the line guys.

To enter my giveaway click here

How to make cake pops

2011-09-20T22:49:00.000-05:00

I'm going to be brutally honest for a second.

Is that ok?

I think that crafts are boring.

Don't let the apron fool you, this is a fake smile:

I'm just a wolf in sheep's clothing here in the bloggo-sphere.

It's all a lie:

I only drag myself into the torture of doing crafts for 3 reasons:

1. Sometimes I can eat them. (Most important reason)

2. Sometimes I have to do them if I want to make friends in Relief Society. (Trust me, I need all the help I can get.)

3: I do them to express my love for family members. (A distant 3)

Luckily for all those who came to Brielle's birthday party, these cake pops fit into categories 1 and 3 of reasons why I craft.

(And actually, cake pops can fit into category 2 as well if you can find a way to bring up that you made them during conversations, as I am happily discovering.)

Here comes the boring part:

(If you are like me, this is when you run for the hills)

Food Ingredients:

One box of cake mix (One box makes about 50 cake pops.)

One regular size icing (I used cream cheese flavor.)

Milk chocolate and/or white chocolate candy coating

Non-Food Ingredients:

Styrofoam block

lollipop sticks

sucker size cellophane bags (a pack of 50)

twist-ties (these sometimes come in the same bag as the cellophane)

plastic wrap

To do:

(Some of these instructions aren't exactly what I did, but what I would do if I had been more motivated to get a better result. As it is, I am too lazy to let the cake-pops harden on the stick. I just plopped 'em on aluminum foil and stuck the stick in them later. That is why mine have a ledge around the bottom)

Bake the cake and then mix it up until it is really soft and smooth, and then mix in the icing.

roll the mixture into balls

cover the balls with plastic wrap and them into the refrigerator overnight

put a lollipop stick into each ball about 1/2 way in.

Dip the ball into the melted chocolate candy coating.

Let the candy dry on a Styrofoam block. [only about 2 hours)

cover with cellophane wrap bag and twist the tie.

And then just go ahead and eat those suckers!! (hehe)

.... but seriously, I don't know why I explain how to do these things.

(I guess just to prove to myself that miracles can happen.)

How to Make Owl Popcorn Balls!

So remember how I don't really like crafting?? Well, I think it is starting to grow on me... really this is weird.

But I think I am starting to like food crafting. (Do food crafts count as a real craft?)

And I decided to take advantage of one of my rare domestic whims, so I made popcorn balls into owls to pass out to neighbors. And here is how.

Start with a popcorn ball recipe.

Here is the one that I used:

Old-Fashioned Popcorn Balls

8 cups popped JOLLY TIME^® Blast O Butter or Butter Licious Microwave Pop Corn

1 cup granulated sugar

1/3 cup light or dark corn syrup

1/3 cup water

1/4 cup butter or margarine

1/2 tsp. salt

1 tsp. vanilla

recipe via

Ingredients for the owl features:

1 bag of orange slices candy

1 bad of candy corn

1 bag of jumbo size marshmallows

About 1 cup of chocolate chips

I think that most of the instructions are self-explanatory once you see the pictures of the owls, but here are some tips I think will help:

Slice the orange slices in half and stick them to the popcorn balls on the sticky side.

Here is a picture of the finished easy version:

An orange slice is placed in between the eyes to create the frowed look an owl has. (Did I just made up the word, "frowed")??

Here is a picture of the finished medium version:

And here is a picture of the harder version

Now go have a happy h-OWL-o-ween!! Hoot hoot!!

Engagement Pictures! (and) my luxurious shawl (and) a sad little miss.

2011-09-19T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hey guys! We got engaged!

And we thought we'd put up these pictures to show you how in love we are!

This shawl has been called "luxurious."

When I wear it, I feel like people have to work really hard to please me.

But don't worry Chris, all my bad qualities will disappear as soon as we are wed!

poof!

See how adoringly Chris looks at me?

We will be good newlyweds I think.

Wait a minute? Are those...wedding rings!??

Did you know about this!???

Come to think of it, it must have been you I was waking up next to for the past three years...

o.k, o.k.

Actually, the truth is that we were going to take family pictures.

But Brielle was a little on the cranky side so we left her at home (with a baby-sitter, of course).

I think she learned her lesson.

p.s. If you like beautiful headbands check out my giveaway below :)

Let's give Brielle's grandma a heart attack, shall we?

2011-09-15T23:00:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while, the head-of-the-house-hold has to prove his manliness, and throw something around.

He's a rugged one, that Chris.

You can just call him "Rocky."

Balloon banners have no calories

2011-09-15T01:35:00.000-05:00

Hello internet,

It's me. At 12:33 at night. I would normally be in bed, but I'm going a little crazy. Let me tell you why:

I won a giveaway! (smile/nervous frown) (but mostly smile).

The prize is an large advertisement spot on The Weigand's blog for the month of October!

I feel like my relative is coming into town, and I need to do some spring cleaning. Only my relative is actually the President of the United States, and I live in a shack!

(I know this is good for me because it is pushing me to make my blog better.)

So that is why I am blogging so late tonight. I've got to put my nerves in a positive direction!
(Because otherwise I might direct them at the leftover cake in my fridge.)

So I am going to explain to you how to make a balloon banner.
(Balloon banner tutorials are not caloric, and they are wonderful. so please feel free to proceed without caution!)

(If you were ever wondering why I am not normally crafty, please take note of the umbrella on top of the banner- I am not normally crafty because I have weird lapses of judgment about what looks good and what doesn't...)

Balloon Banner Tutorial:

1.First blow up your balloons. You will want to make sure they are blown up to about the same size.

2.Then tie four balloons together to create an octopus looking structure.

(From here on out we will refer to a group of four balloons as an octopus, so I don't have to keep saying, "four balloons with their ends tied together." )

3. Then tie four more balloons together, and repeat until you have 12 octopi. (Make 12 only if you want the same length of banner as as mine. But if you want it any shorter or longer, simply adjust the amount of octopi you tie together.)

4.After you have 12, get some twine or yarn (I used yarn, but I think that twine would be stronger [but I've don't even really know what twine is, I am just going off of what I've heard about twine.])

5. Tie the octopi- close together (about 5-6 inches).

6. Leave some length of twine on the ends so that you can hang up your banner. To hang my banner I used push pins and then tied the yarn around the pins.

7. And now you have it! Time to victory dance!

Easy peezzey. Compared to creating my monster cake, this was a breeze.

Here are a few other pictures from Brielle's birthday party!

The monster cake that ate my life

2011-09-13T19:33:00.000-05:00

I embarked on the creation of cake-en-stein with noble intentions.

I believed he would bring joy and happiness to the tastebuds and eyeballs of many.

And he did, but at such a cost.

Researching the science behind the creation of cake-en-stein took me about 2 hours.

And after all the learning, the thing was made.

I would estimate it took about 14 hours total from beginning to end.

But there were some good things that happened during the creation.

For example, I victory danced a record breaking victory dance upon the stacking of the tiers.

I did the worm across the living room.

(wait a minute. what?)

Actually, I almost did. But I didn't.

I was going to pretend to be very know-it-all and tell you how to make this cake, but I won't.

I am done with the cake-en-monster.

done.

and we are even now.

Because me and mine gobbled him up.

So who's the monster now?

P.S. (In case you are ever in need of tier cake making instructions feel free to consult YouTube. [I'm pretty sure you can learn how to do anything on that site.])

Currently, I am learning brain-surgery via YouTube.

I'll post about that next week.

Wahhahahaha

Birthdays are sad

2011-09-12T23:11:00.000-05:00

My dearest one year old,

You will never roll over for the first time, or walk for the first time again.

You won't look at me cross-eyed on accident ever again.

You will never again perform the magic of so many first times.

Those shows are over.

I can't have those tears of joy I cried in the hospital a year ago.

I can't have that day when angels were surrounding us in that hospital room.

I know that I can have another baby.

But I want you, little duck.

Is it too much to want to have you again. And go through every stage again?

I want to hold your little hand forever, as if I am holding the tiniest flower.

My Dear Brielle,

I love you so much.

Keep growing, because I know that you must.

But please know that it is breaking my heart.

love,

your sad mama

Triathlons and other torturous things

2011-09-01T20:14:00.000-05:00

Chris competed in a triathlon last Saturday.

He did really well.

My favorite part was...

well, maybe it's obvious.

That hunk-a-lunk did really well.

4th in his age division, and his time was 2:05 overall.

For a first triathlon, that's pretty stinkan good.

I love being married to an athlete. sigh...

Sometimes Brielle gets bored and I have to turn her upside down.

This happens a lot.

Also, notice how clean I keep my kitchen.

I'm obsessive like that.

This last picture is meant to make up for the torture of triathlon and child abuse pictures above.

Halloween is right around the corner!!

And I am soo excited.

Oh, and Happy September!

Is it just me, or was August dragging on forever?

1st Birthday Ideas

2011-08-25T17:22:00.000-05:00

I've been brainstorming...

I'll keep you updated on how the preparations go!

Maybe there is a crafty drop of blood in my body (although I kind of doubt it.)

But I'll hunt and hunt for that drop of blood so that this will be the best dang birthday party Brielle has ever SEEN!

pictures via

too fast

2011-08-22T21:59:00.000-05:00

The girl is running around like a pro lately.

Buzzing around from couch to table, to mom, to couch, like a little bee.

She moves so quickly.

This little sunshine of mine is so bright.

Last night, after she had gotten all her wiggles out, I rocked her to sleep, singing to her in her little ear.

I hope she feels how much I love her.

Loving her feels like a humid day in a garden. Every time you breathe in, you can’t help but smell the flowers.

She will be one year old soon, and I am going to miss her babyhood.

And then someday I will miss her toddler-hood,

and child-hood.

And then I don't know how much I will miss her teenager-hood?

But man, this goes by so fast.

Poison Ivy (woe is me.)

2011-08-17T21:23:00.000-05:00

I look like a meth addict scratching herself all over.

People love to look at me and wonder whether I am on drugs, or was born at the top of the ugly tree.

And because I am having a hard time touching my swollen fingertips to my swollen shoulders, because of my swollen arms, I decided to take an anti-histamine pill to help the swelling go down.

It was the first time and last time.

After that little pill, all I wanted was to sleep.

I was too useless to make dinner. Too useless to concentrate.

And I fell asleep in the car on the way to the restaurant.

But good news!

The pill has worn off!

Just in time for bed…

I'm useless. Hopeless. What will I do?

Oh I wish, I wish, there was a solution.

Oh wait! There is hope yet! There, on the horizon!

This looks like a job for...

WERE-ELK

(just kidding guys, everyone knows were-elk only comes out in Colorado)

poor me. poor sad were-elk-less me.

Do you feel like dying?

2011-08-15T22:19:00.000-05:00

OF CUTENESS?

Chris wriggled around his seat belt to see what the noise was coming from the back.

Dost our ears deceive us?

The girl was clapping her hands and feet to the beat of the music!

And the little wave at the end?!!

I think if Brielle had been any cuter in this video,

I would die of a cuteness-overload heart explosion.

Don't worry, it wouldn't be gross.

(If I really could have a cuteness overload heart-explosion, I think it would look like confetti.)

That's the best visual I can come up with guys. Sorry.

I am laughing at our expense, please feel free to join me.

2011-08-11T17:12:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I picked up Chris from his *sedated procedure*. (Husband has committed me to silence as far as what it was-sorry.)

It was wonderful. I am laughing just thinking about it right now.

First of all, it was yesterday- AKA the day the poison ivy monster mauled me. Therefore, my face was a wreck. I look like this:

I'm not really exaggerating either. The resemblance is striking.

So my face and I went to pick up Chris.

I really enjoyed all the looks I got when I entered the lobby. They were wonderful. I would like to thank the woman sitting in the front row who held her vomit in her mouth. Everyone else was hoping I wasn't contagious. I could tell from the way they leaned as far back in their seats as possible.

When I got to the room where Chris was waiting, I asked him how it went, and he responded with a silly grin and told me the drugs were working.

Then he asked me if I wanted to see something funny, and of course I said yes.

He proceeded to show me how he could not pass the straight line test. He stumbled around, all the while with his hands in a 90 degree angle in front of him, and a look of concentration- besides that goofy grin. I wish I had a video of it. We would be You Tube stars.

Then he sat down, and after I finished laughing, I asked him if he could rub his belly and pat his head at the same time. He looked at me like I was silly to ask, and proceeded to pat his belly and pat his head with a confused look on his face. Then he slowed down and said. "Oh, ok, I got it- hold on." And started doing it the right way, with the rub on the belly and the pat on the head; triumph exuding from his being.

For the next 2 hours or so Chris referred to me as either "Quasimodo", or "Shrek."

Also today, we had some men come to our house to pick up our broken washing machine.

As soon as I opened the door I said. "Don't worry, it isn't contagious. It's just poison-ivy"

One of the men said, "It's ok, as long as you don't hug me."

I looked at him, squinted my good eye, and growled, "I wasn't planning on it."

Please pray for that man. I think he might hide his children tonight.

I repulse everyone right now...

Quasimodo image found here

In poison-ivy misery. wah

2011-08-10T17:47:00.000-05:00

I swear poison-ivy flies through the air to land on me.

On Monday The hubs and I went to a friend’s cabin for S’mores, the friends warned us about the profuse amounts of poison-ivy in the area.

I have had poison Ivy twice in the past, so I knew to be cautious. (Especially since last time I had it, I had to take steroids to get rid of it because it wouldn’t go away on its own) (Just thinking about that throws me into a rage…)

And makes Chris very sad.

But I guess I wasn’t cautious enough.

I hate my life right now. The only way I can think I got it is if:

A. I rubbed my face, neck, arms, and stomach with poison ivy without realizing it (even after scrubbing my hands a bajilion times)

B. There was poison ivy burning on the wood in the campfire and it was transmitted through the smoke. (most likely [I really am very susceptible.])

C. There is an invisible poison ivy monster that floats through the air who likes to lick me (also most likely).

I look like Quasimodo right now. And NO. You do not get pictures you sickos.

K. I’ve got to go… wallow in misery.

In other bad/sad news. Here is a picture of miss P's little mishap from about a week ago, she fell forward and scraped her face, poor lady. Also, please note the hair. lol. I love the headband head (the way her hair looks after you take off her headband).

adios

2011-07-30T17:33:00.000-05:00

hi guys

the miss wants to tell you something

she wants to let you know that, despite the way it looks, she is not naked.

And that she is sorry for always being on the move and out of focus.

And that she in going on a trip to Colorado to see horses and rivers and mountains.
But that she will be back soon.
And that she will miss you.

Now Brielle is going to daze off, dreaming of the wild west...

The girl is a track star (Brielle's first steps)

2011-07-29T14:54:00.000-05:00

She was working on her speed crawl, but was starting to feel dissatisfied.
(Because she kept running into the camera...)

...the girl can't see where she's going with that flower...

So Lately we've been doing a lot of this:

And the movement of walking has made Brielle strive to reach new heights.

She has practiced and practiced. She won't even slow down enough to hold her sippy cup in her hands.

Finally, success! At a speedy ten months, Brielle took her first unassisted steps on Sunday.

(The magic happens about 50 seconds into the video.)

Today I was a poser

2011-07-27T20:46:00.000-05:00

We rode in Ragbrai.

Chris and I aren't really bikers but we thought we'd give it a shot.

Apparently, Dad thinks from his neck, and Chris thinks from his shoulder...

I heard on the grapevine that Lance Armstrong rode in it yesterday.

You know it's cool if Lance is there right? Yes, yes you do.

Dad had his "awesome face" on at the end of the day. He did really well.

Mom and dad really enjoy giving each other high fives. You can tell I didn't even have to pose them...

Next year anyone?

Why I love Gwamma's house (From Brielle's point of view)

2011-07-26T20:53:00.000-05:00

1. Grumpa and Gwamma!! They buy me anything I want, and I get to eat constantwee. My tummy feels like a over stuffed water-balloon all the time. Mom says I'm heavier to lift when we go to Gramma's house. I wuv gramma's cooking....

2. My auntie!! She is sooo cool. We are BFF's. She plays the piano really good. Plus, she is wreally in style, and wears cute shoes- like me!

3. Everyone fights over who gets to take care of me- except my mom, she is usually weelaxing on the computer, working out, or working with autie on songs. But sometimes I demand that she plays with me. I think she likes it when I choose her over everyone else.

4. Sometimes when we are in Des Moines, it means that Daddy is not in school, so he can play with me whenever he wants, and change my diaper, and feed me, and take me on walks, and smile at me, and rock me to sleep, and tickle me, and take me swimming, and read me books, and sing to me (but I think mom sings better). But he hasn't taked a picture with me since we've been here, mom's been a slacker I guess.

Well I better go now, my attention span is technically only 12 seconds long, so it's a miwacle I made it this long.

Gaga over a duck

2011-07-22T16:46:00.000-05:00

After acting like those two vultures on Jungle Book for a while... "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know what do you want to do?"

The mister and I decided to go to the zoo.

Apparently it was the place to be.

I heard Lady Gaga was there the same time we were, but our efforts to stalk her failed. Sad.

(We really tried, it felt creepy)

I guess she is in Omaha to film a music video?

But back to the main attraction: Miss P.

She loved the aminals, oh! I mean animals...

Sometimes the baby talk just becomes normal.

She liked the gorillas

And the lizard

But she LOVED the duck. (figures)

She learned to associate the word, "duck" with the animal duck!

It is so awesome to see your kid learn new things.

It's the best.

Skydiving!

2011-07-19T10:31:00.000-05:00

(Chris looks pretty calm doesn't he?)

(You can tell from the pictures that my hair loved it too! Yay! Fun for all!)

Chris, my sister, and I went skydiving last weekend!

Chris and I went in separate planes, so the other could take care of Brielle just in case one of us died (eep!)

(And that plane was the go-cart of planes. It wasn’t too hard to imagine it falling apart. [I did.])

It was funny, how, as we climbed and climbed into the sky, everything started feeling looser and looser.

And then all of the sudden everything was way too loose!

The tennis shoes felt 2 sizes too big. I thought that there was no way my shoes would stay on. I could feel the air pulling on them

My wedding ring made a careful transition from my ring finger to my middle finger for a tighter fit.

Sitting with my feet dipped into the clouds, just before “jumping” (scooting off, in my case) was amazing. My heart might have beaten enough in that moment to last me a few months.

But, against all my instincts, we scooted out of the plane and into the sky. It was more of a sky belly flop.

The best part was the free fall. I could free fall for hours. I could free fall and free fall and free fall forever. (But not really, because I do really enjoy my normal life most of the time)

I wish my arms could have sprouted gliders, like a sugar glider

But my arms did not spread gliders, and we had to pull the parachute. I was pretty disappointed to end free-fall, but the parachute is pretty essential to not dying, so…

Skydiving was wonderful! I highly recommend it!

Fun fact:

Did you know you are less likely to die skydiving than you are to die in a plane crash, and you are less likely to die in a plane crash than in a car crash?

Good to know, right? Or as Chris and I say, “G2K” (we like to be hip sometimes and make up acronyms). It's going to be big one guys, I can tell.

Gummy Kiss

2011-07-10T21:49:00.000-05:00

Let's have a moment of appreciation for my mom's genius shall we?

Going in:

Success!!

Now I want to try!

Best kiss ever! (No offense Chris).

A run

2011-07-06T10:57:00.000-05:00

Mostly, yesterday was normal and a little boring, except for when Chris came home and kicked me out the door.

It was raining, and he said I should go running anyway. I think he must know that it is my drug.

The air coming from the asphalt was steamy and warm.

The rain felt great dripping off my nose.

My run became like a dance of gratitude.

For freedom, for my healthy body, for my ability to make a healthy child.

And when I came home and picked up Brielle again, my arms felt stronger, and she felt lighter.

The fourth (with imaginary pictures)

2011-07-04T20:28:00.000-05:00

My camera is still in Des Moines. So insert a picture of Brielle, Chris and I at a neighborhood Fourth of July breakfast this morning where the waffles tasted so good.

Also insert a picture of Brielle and I going down a slip-n-slide. But please edit out the sad, scared face on Brielle, and pretend she loved sitting on my lap getting sprayed by the sprinkler on our way down the hill.

Picture Brielle falling asleep in her swimsuit on the way home. Her cheeks pink, and her neck sweaty. And me kissing those hot cheeks before putting her down in her crib, still asleep.

I wish I could have a picture of Chris and I going down the slip-n-slide together. But he was studying.

(I was so jealous of the cute, newly wed couple going down together and laughing and getting grass all over.)

I think we will top off this holiday watching 24. It's a patriotic thing to do right? Watch Jack Bower kill terrorists?

And now I will exercise my freedom of speech by publishing this post.

Thank you America

Take me out to the ball game...I don't care if I ever get fat

2011-06-19T22:21:00.000-05:00

On a sunny day we paid $20 for two tickets to a College World Series game. Cheap seats.

The ones which do not guarantee a seat, and all your swearing and stomping on hats won't get you in if you don't wait in line early enough.

Who was playing who? It didn't matter.

We were there for the beach balls and the wave.

Boy was that a good wave.

It started in the cheap seats. And by the time it got to the more expensive seats it lost momentum.

I guess when people pay $30 to sit down in a individual chair they don't feel like getting back up.

And just for funsies, here is what we look like fat: I guess we ate too many peanuts and Cracker Jacks.

Brielle hasn't changed much...Sad. ;)

The reason Chris is always in front of the camera

2011-06-16T16:54:00.000-05:00

Hello squint eye. Nice to see that you are still around even when the sun is not shining on you.

This is probably the best picture of me with some of our dental school buddies. Which says a lot about the other pictures...

but onward...

This picture was taken at a ropes course. No one died or got seriously injured, so it wasn't that exciting.
It is hard to feel a rush when (because of helmets and harnesses) there is no real danger in the first place. (j/k j/k my friends. [Which means just kidding mom]).

It was awesome, and I was actually rushed out of my mind.

This is the most exciting thing I have to report right now, which is why my blog has been a little post lonely lately.

Oh wait, this is exciting. I am wearing my white shorts today. Last time I wore these they lasted for 5 hours before Brielle started a food fight. (Which I won by the way.) But I won in the sense that Brielle ended up eating her peas anyway, and I changed her clothes as punishment for her messy rebellion

Speaking of rebellion over food. I have been eating a lot of these...

yum. If anyone feels up to the torture, let me know and I'll post a recipe (a version of my own invention [dun dun dun]).

It's like a salad in a cup, and since drinking them, I've noticed I can run faster. Not even kidding. The other day, I kept up with Chris on a run, and that has never happened. Usually he runs circles around me-literally. So there's my plug. (By the way, Chris ran a 3.11 on his last marathon, so keeping up with him is kind of a big deal to me.) To save his pride, I will admit that he was pushing a stroller. (Man I really didn't want to tell you that, but there you have it-I am proud of keeping up with my stroller-pushing husband, who usually runs circles around me even while pushing a stroller.) Sad.

And last but not least.
This is a true story.
A woman at Costco got teary-eyed when Miss P. waved to her the other day. Teary eyed.
What is it about the P? She just exudes something awesome.

Here is a good analogy: She is like Bella, and everyone else in the world is like Edward. (in a non-hunger and non-sexual way.)

K. maybe that analogy is way too weird. I'll just pretend it is better, and forget about it so I can get to ending the post.

(Until next time I log on, when I realize how dumb it sounds and sneakily edit it out-happens all the time.)

Just in case you forgot how cute she is...

2011-05-25T10:55:00.000-05:00

The P. plays a game in the car and it goes like this:
Chris wears a hat on his head, and Brielle tries to get it off during the short intervals that Chris' head is close to Brielle's face.
(During that short interval, Chris is usually tickling the girl, or saying, "boo").
Brielle eventually succeeds, and waves the hat around, laughs, and screams.
Chris takes the hat back.

Be still my soft squishy heart.

Romance

2011-05-23T13:21:00.000-05:00

On a romantic whim, we revisited fossil springs: one of the places we hiked on our honeymoon.
(Ok, I've actually been meticulously planning and picturing this hike in my head since three years ago when we went the first time.)
Brielle is still delicate from her scorpion encounter, so she stayed home and convalesced with grandma.
Lighter without the weight and responsibility of a baby, we jogged the four miles to the creek, and later held hands, and talked about our honeymoon.
We did not stop every three and a half hours to nurse, and change a diaper.
We did not worry about naps and crawling time.
We did not try to teach anyone how to wave or clap or point.
We did not say a word of baby talk.
But Chris did try to teach me how to whistle.
And after getting spit all over my face, I gave up.
Chris also tried to get me to jog with him the four miles back to our car.
He said if I jogged the whole time he would call me "master" for the rest of my life. (Let's just say Chris will never call me "master.")
By the end of the trip, I think my chesties had inflated to double D's.
But actually my left chestie was a double D and my right was a C. So apparently I nurse lopsided.
And we got a flat tire on our way back to our May 21st end of the world party.
But the world did not end, we fixed the flat, Brielle was happy to deflate my chest (especially the left side), and I have a sweet husband who makes me jog and tries to teach me to whistle.
Romance is not always romantic, I guess.
And I'm ok with that.

revenge

2011-05-22T13:09:00.000-05:00

We found this little terrorist close to our friend's house.
Chris decided to make an example of him.
The scorpion posts had to end with a scorpion murder.

A post in which I list various forms of scorpion murder

2011-05-19T12:19:00.000-05:00

Brielle was stung by a scorpion a few days ago and had a severe reaction. (Luckily, it was not while we were at the Grand Canyon.)

It was the scariest day of my life

The scorpion would never have dared to sting Brielle if he had known the wrath he would invoke.

Let me explain that this wrath I am feeling is new. I am usually very *ahem* tender-hearted towards animals and insects. Like when I was a girl, I would patiently trap flies in a glass jar and set them free outside rather than see my mom swat them. Even now, in my "wiser" years, I will set vermin outside rather than flush them down the toilet.

But my mama bear came out the second Brielle was stung. Every living creature (other than Brielle) was in immediate danger. Like the poor receptionist at the urgent care who told us she couldn’t help her. I screamed in her face, “Damn it! Look at her, help us please!” The woman’s blue eyes widened with fear and she shakily pointed to the direction of the hospital. So we (carefully) ran some red lights (parked) and sprinted to the ER.

Scorpion venom is a neurotoxin. So Brielle’s nerves were firing and causing her to twitch, she was also coughing up a lot of lung fluid, and as a result, she could not breathe well. And I guess it goes without saying that my baby was in a lot of pain. She was given morphine first, but then sedated so that the anti-venom could be administered without her fighting. We would have been out of the hospital as soon as the anti-venom took effect, but she was given too much sedation, so she wasn’t breathing on her own. The doctors put an oxygen tube down her throat which meant that she would need to remain sedated. She was in an induced coma. But luckily, we were only in the hospital one night.

When Brielle’s breathing tube was taken out, I curled up next to her on her (sturdy metal) little crib and just stared at her, agonizing over how close we were to losing her, or at least how close it felt like we were to losing her. Brielle’s room was located in the pediatric intensive care unit, and it hurt my heart to see all the other little children and babies in their tiny hospital gowns, hooked up to their child-sized tubes, leading to monitors twice their size, and their parents sitting anxiously nearby wishing they could take the illness upon themselves.

After Brielle getting stung, to say the least, I have a deeper appreciation for her. It has been very hard not to watch every move she makes, spoil her rotten, and hold her every chance I get (a little tighter than I did before). And while revenge festers in my heart, a much larger portion of my heart is just grateful I have been blessed with the beautiful gift of a healthy baby.

When I could hold Brielle in my arms again I whispered in her ear how I love her, and how passionately we were going to kill those scorpions.

We will never again meet a scorpion without killing it on sight. In her little ear, I told her how we would get revenge:
bowling ball smashing, baseball bat bashing, tweezer pulling, magnifying glass melting, microwave exploding, bare hand’s tearing, bonfire burning, puddle drowning, bb gun shooting, Cutco knife stabbing, pillow suffocating, methane gas poisoning, X-ray radiating, oven baking, Co2 ice freezing, mustard gassing, machine gunning, nuclear bombing, concentration camping, starving, axing, torturing, electric chairing, lethal injectioning, solitary confining, rubber band flicking, sling shooting, toilet flushing, running shoe flattening, BBQ shish-kabobing, Amazon style blow gunning, cowboy lassoing, hog tying, King Henry the 8^th style beheading, Voldemort style adava kedavra-ing, William Wallace eviscerating, Rachel Ray dicing, Charles Manson Helter Skeltering, Jonestown style kool-aiding, Indian style massacring, and I am open to new forms of murder as well as they come to my attention.